Bringing a change within a family is a mammoth task. It is especially difficult when people are deep into a false belief that women, in Islam should not have an access to education and work. More than that, it is a symbol of prestige to have a girl married at the age of 17-18 by spending lavishly, which is more of ‘customs and society’ than of religion. Most of the Muslims, be it within my family or in TN or in India, are conservative than religious.

Trying to break all the man-made barriers and looking deeply into what is said by the Almighty (in the Holy Quran and by the life of Prophet Muhammed, peace and blessings of the Lord be upon him) and implementing that in life is as complicated as it sounds. The duties and responsibilities of a man and a woman in the family are clearly established in the religion: that man should work and earn for the family and woman should take care of the family and children. Even if the girl is capable of earning, it is the man’s responsibility to spend for the family and he can never escape from it and just because she goes outside and earns, she cannot escape her responsibility to her family.

Islam places a huge importance on thinking and pondering.

The Holy Quran 038.029
“(It is) a Book We have revealed to you abounding in good that they may ponder over its verses, and that those endowed with understanding may be mindful.”

And it never differentiates between men and women. Every human being is required to think and think a lot to understand and appreciate His words. That is why we see a huge number of people reverting to Islam not because of any groups attempting to do so, but reading and understanding the Quran and the Hadith.

Coming back to the topic, many Muslims here fail to understand this concept and keep away religion from practicing it in their daily lives. One of my colleagues who has spent a considerable time in learning about Islam expressed his unhappiness about how Muslims in TN are so unaware of the religion. I must admit to my shame that, a huge chunk of us don’t even know as much as he does.

The problem of a Muslim woman like me who aspires to pursue her education and career is like a two edged sword. One is her family which is resistant to come out of the so called man-made tradition and the other is the outer world which has negative opinions about Islam. Alhamdhulillah (Praise be to the Almighty), TN is a great place to be, to be very honest, I have not faced much of problems for practicing my religion like how others do in other parts of our country or in the world. Wherever I go, people have always appreciated my endeavors and encouraged me a lot, be it my profs or docs or anyone for that matter. There were a couple of very old professors in BIM (Anantharaman Sir and ARR Sir, both in their 80’s, maasha Allah) who were very fond of me. However, expecting everyone to be the same is foolish. When I attended an interview for an IT company based in Bangalore, which is popular for its employee friendly policies, most of the questions were centered around my community. It was beyond one’s natural ability to tolerate when the questions are in a mocking tone.

It is not right on my part to blame them. Because the onus of proving that a religious Muslim woman can perform as much as the others in the organization lies on us. It is too much on our part to wait for things to come to us easily. We need to struggle a lot. That ‘We’ is this (my) generation of Muslim women, who are coming out of the society-made shell. When many around me advised me not to go to Ethiraj just because I may be treated differently, I ignored them and went ahead to find how false their conceptions are.

I really got excited to see this article from Knowledge at Wharton, which echoes my thought:

I wish that all Muslim women understand that the world is not hostile, and even if they are, it is our duty to change that. Let us hope for the same, insha Allah..


22 Responses to “Resistance”

  1. Akash Says:

    Assalamu Alaikum
    That was very well written. I know and have come across the problems women face in Asian Countries when it comes to work and education. Specially the higher eduation. But I think its changing. Like in sri lanka the new generation parents wants thier child to study and be independent, which is very good. And I am sure the time will come soon, when men and women get equal rights when it comes to employment in Asian Countries.
    Although its very much equal rights in the UK and other western countries, muslim women face a different problem here. World looks at muslims in different way after the all world trade centre bombing.
    I know lots of friends who have had very good qualifications, but was ignored for jobs, promotions etc because of the religion.
    I hope this would change..
    TC and Good luck
    Known Stranger

  2. Ijtema Says:

    Assalamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah

    I pray that you are in the best of health & imaan.

    This is a short message to notify you that this entry has been selected for publishing on, a venture to highlight the best of the Muslim blogosphere. Please visit the site to find out more about our initiative.

    May Allah bless you for your noble efforts.


  3. The Victorious.. Says:

    Brother Akash,
    Wa alaikum salam,
    Thank you. I’m hoping for the same too, insha Allah..

    Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah wa barakathuhu

    Jazakallahu khair, for your prayers, I pray for the same too.
    And Jazakallah again, for having my blog listed on Ijtema.


  4. Ela Says:

    When it comes to that not only the muslim community but the hindu community also suffers from too much of unwanted, unnecessary conservatism. So in India, apart from religion, social and financial status, when any individual wants to rise above the average- the costs re huge and the fights are long and exhausting….but when one is determined then rules could be changed…afterall they are man-made in the first place!

  5. Prashanth Says:

    This is an eye opener for me! I never thought there are still such communal resistance… May be all my islamic frenz didn’t have to face it.

    And communal questions in an interview of any form is just ridiculous!

    I hope sooner than later people realize tht it is not the religion but the people who are creating the problems…

  6. The Victorious.. Says:

    Sis, I can’t agree more!

    The problem is more among Muslim women since we carry the apparent ‘signs’ of a Muslim. (I’m assuming you don’t have girls as friends ;)) I have seen a lot of raised eyebrows myself while attending interviews or giving any presentations. But that fades away within a couple of minutes..

  7. rahman Says:

    I think its high time people started seeing people as bound by culture rather than religion, even though a lot happens in the name of religion.

    It is a sad reality to note that most of our brothers and sisters know nothing of the fundamentals of Islam; rather they equate what happens in their community as Islamic…and I guess as educated individuals, we have a role to play in stopping this.

    Jazakallah for the article!

  8. The Victorious.. Says:

    Wa iyyakum, brother..

    Your are right that we have a major role to play in stopping this. May Allah be with us.

  9. moffika Says:

    nice reflections….Go BIRIYANI!!!!

  10. SLOGGER Says:

    Women Liberty – It’s a social issue isn’t it? Change is around the corner though, how one handles it, it’s totally up to them. I do want to add that liberty is never by comparison; mostly it’s by one’s right. Example, if a girl wants to walk in the middle of night just because guys do, that’s not liberty but at the same time if a girl wants to work night shift that’s her birth right.

    Also, there is big difference between being conservatives and outright suppression. Our society in Tamil Nadu may be conservatives but I don’t think they are suppressive?

    P.S Hadith and Women Liberty? I am not sure.

  11. The Victorious.. Says:



    \\Example, if a girl wants to walk in the middle of night just because guys do, that’s not liberty\\

    brother, please note that I’m no feminist here. I will never buy the concept of women imitating men in dressing, smoking, drinking or hanging around late in the night. I agree with you in this point..

    \\but at the same time if a girl wants to work night shift that’s her birth right\\

    being a working woman myself, I will never want to stay even a few minutes after the clock ticks five. I know it is a little too much to believe, but I have made it clear to my organization that I have certain priorities and can’t stay late.

    when a girl walks down the street in the mid night, the rogues will not differentiate between her and the one who comes out from a disc.

    let me reiterate that liberty does not mean shortening the length of the skirt or imitating men, even if it comes to slogging all the day at work and failing to take care of the children coming back from school.

    \P.S Hadith and Women Liberty? I am not sure.\

    I’m very sure brother. I’m an ardent follower of Islam and I will never, to the best of my knowledge break the bounds set by the Almighty. Our very Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was working under his wife before he attained his prophethood.

    Islam clearly distinguishes the rights and responsibilities of a man and a woman. A man must earn (even if the wife earns, she has NO obligation to spend on her family) and a woman must take care of the family. While men are better off in some cases, even women are better off in other cases. A lot of people only know about ‘thalak’. What the media ignores is the equivalent right that a woman has, called ‘khula’.

    For more information on this topic, please visit the University of Southern California’s site on authentic info on Islam:

  12. SLOGGER Says:

    Victorious –
    I am a firm believer in liberty and equality for all. For example, when they passed a rule in my college that women shouldn’t wear jeans, the first question was, who do they think they are? I feel that you cannot force your way of life on others. I kind of differ from your view that if a women choose to go discotheque that her wish, and no one has the right to say no. As a society we have to accept that as her rights. The point I was making was women shouldn’t think that liberty could be achieved by acting as men. Liberty is ones right for his/her way of life irrespective of his/her race, color or sex.

    My knowledge on Islam is limited and most of my limited knowledge comes from books on early Islam. So do state if I quote something incorrect. Hadith were written some 100 years (some even later) after Muhammad’s death. There are many different Hadith and each one is purely based on the region it originated. There is big research in the Muslim community to authenticate the validity of each Hadith. Even the Hadiths between Shias and Sunnis differ. Certain statements in Hadith regarding rebellious wife (Nushooz), Women and Hell-Fire speech, ability of Women to tempt Men, inheritance, punishment for adultery, validity of women’s testimony, and some others I don’t agree with. I don’t think that treatment of Women is unique to Hadith, there are many statements in religious book from Hinduism and Christianity which I feel is offensive to Women. But my view is faith is between me and God whatever in between is just for guidance, and I don’t take it to my heart.

    BTW, the link doesnt work?

  13. The Victorious.. Says:

    \\Hadith were written some 100 years (some even later) after Muhammad’s death\\

    No, it was not. Hadiths were NOT ‘written’ after Muhammed’s (peace be upon him) death, but were recorded after his death.

    I understand that your knowledge on Islam is limited. There are only two sources of Islamic Knowledge: 1. Quran 2. Authentic Hadeeth like Buhari and Muslim.

    If that link doesnt work, kindly use this one.

    About Shias and other divisions in the name of Islam, they are man-made and have nothing to do with what the Almighty has said in the Quran or through our Prophet Muhammed (pbuh).

    rebellious wife (Nushooz)- what is this? are you talking about the ‘beating the wife’ verse in the Quran?

    Quran 004.034
    “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).”

    Isn’t this verse clear? What is wrong in wives being obedient to their husbands?

    Women and Hell-Fire speech- it is just what our Prophet said, the number of women in the hell will be more than men because of their ingratitude. It doesn’t mean there are no men in the hell

    ability of Women to tempt Men- isn’t this natural? but it doesn’t mean that only women should lower their gaze and veil themselves. The Holy Quran says:

    The Noble Qur’an 24:30

    “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.”

    Just like how Muslim women have a dress code, so do Muslim men. They should also not wear clothes that are tight, transparent, etc.

    inheritance- Islam is the only religion which has given the women rights to inherit propery. But we get only half of what men get. You know why? When I inherit half of my dad’s property, I AM NOT OBLIGED to spend on my family, whereas my brother has to. When men are supposed to toil and earn for their family, isn’t it right for them to take double of what we get? Also, in a marriage, a girl should spend a penny, and it is the guy who sould give her the dower or mahar. I feel this law from the Almighty is very, very fair.

    punishment for adultery- this is equal for both men and women

    Qur’an An-Nur 24:2

    “The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allâh, if you believe in Allâh and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. (This punishment is for unmarried persons guilty of the above crime but if married persons commit it, the punishment is to stone them to death, according to Allâh’s Law). “

    Punishment for those who accuse chaste women:

    Qur’an 24:4
    “And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fâsiqûn (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allâh).”

    validity of women’s testimony- in any case, in any developed or a free nation, a woman is subject to yield to pressure much more than a man. See what happened in Zahira Sheik’s case.

    About liberty and the right of a person to decide what he wants, yes, he has every right to determine where he wants to go.

    Quran 002.256
    “Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God heareth and knoweth all things.”

    P.S: if the link to USC website doesn’t work again, just google for “usc islam” and you will get this website as the first one in the results.

  14. SLOGGER Says:

    Victorious –
    // No, it was not. Hadiths were NOT ‘written’ after Muhammed’s (peace be upon him) death, but were recorded after his death.//
    I don’t understand the difference, could you elaborate?

    //Isn’t this verse clear? What is wrong in wives being obedient to their husbands?//
    The question is not obedience? It’s whether that obedience be based on love or expectation (or a predefined rules), and also, the authority to punish others who don’t fulfill their partner’s expectation. The union of a Man and a Woman should be mutual. For argument sake, can a woman react if her husband makes a mistake?
    I don’t agree with the statement that “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women”, but let’s work with your argument based on physical strength. Let me explain this based on an interaction with my Grandfather who is an atheist (I am not). Someone came to our house for help, without any emotion he opened his wallet and gave him some money. My Patti started complaining that he is just going to spend the money on unnecessary things and that he is not worth getting the money. After some time, I questioned my Grandfather why he gave him the money? He asked me why not? I told him that as per Patti he is going to spend the money on things which are not necessary. As always, he sat next to me and said, “For every question or problem in life, you get 2 options. One you accept it “I do” or the other you reject it and say “I don’t”. Your responsibility end there”. In other words, when someone asks for money you either give him or say no. What he does with it is beyond you and you shouldn’t be worried about it. If he makes a mistake, next time you say no, or if you can’t help him just say I can’t. So helping others is the key here, not what he is going to do with it, right?
    Based on that, I can’t go to my wife and say be obedient because I protect you, because then, my action is based on expectation, which in my view is not right. Again, marriage is a union of love not bond based on expectation.

    Also, I don’t feel that touching my son is right leave alone my wife. There is a world beyond fear, a world of happiness and joy. One should try to achieve that through love not by authority, not by fear. Don’t worry about hell; don’t worry about heaven, pray God and carry on with life without fear and expectation.

    //“Number of women in the hell will be more than men because of their ingratitude”//
    During the middle ages, Men work and Women take care of the family. Men interact; the opportunity for Men to sin is great. So the ingratitude can only arise by not serving Men. If God made Women to serve Men, then I think it’s wrong.

    I can see your argument and I accept that make sense.

    //Punishment for adultery- this is equal for both men and women//
    I am trying to be precise in not bringing religion in my answers, I am going to try my level best on this. Law of land should never be based on religion. A law should be Just irrespective of religion, color, race, or sex. Law of land should give me the right to practice anything which I wish unless it affects others (especially kids under 18 who cannot think for themselves). Given that, if my neighbor wants to live a life without a marriage with consent from both the party, who am I to question it? Now, you might say that it’s prostitution? Not really, prostitution is selling a body for pleasure or money, there is a difference. Here I do want to add about having multiple wives. That’s not right either. If you want to marry someone else, divorce your first wife, make sure she doesn’t struggle and you move on, I don’t give a damn about it. Here is a real life scenario an uncle of mine has 2 wives. His argument, well my first wife didn’t care why someone else should? Well, his first wife was housewife, didn’t have a clue on how to live a life without the support of him, and has kids. Now if the moron walks out on her what is she going to do? Beg in front of the police station that he left her? Of course, she said OK, does she likes sharing her life with another women? Hell no.
    Also, there is another important issue with all religions based on Abraham, I don’t know whey they give so much importance for Sex? Sex is important but not worth writing rules about.

    //“See what happened in Zahira Sheik’s case”//
    What happened in Zahira Sheik’s case was the utter failure of the law of the land. It has nothing to do with female or male. Percentage of Men who would have done the same will be even more. Just go through the papers, it strikes you because it’s a girl.

    //Quran 002.256//
    I agree with all that, what happens if I am a Kafir (because that’s who I am)? That’s what scares me???

  15. The Victorious.. Says:

    1. \\I don’t understand the difference, could you elaborate? \\

    There is a difference between calling something as ‘written’ (sounds like it was made up) and recorded.

    2.\\The union of a Man and a Woman should be mutual.\\
    Of course it is. There are several verses of the Quran which talks about love and God says He has made human beings as pairs in order to dwell in peace and tranquility. You and I will not have a problem in accepting it. But one should go down to the ground level to understand why this provision is given by the Almighty (in law, we call it an enabling provision). God says ‘beat your wife lightly’ when things go out of hand. Just take junior vikatan or dhinathanthi or kumudham reporter to know what I mean. I am of the very of the very strong opinion that if a man goes on the wrong path, the family will suffer and if the same is done by a woman, a family is ruined.

    3. Uniform law for everyone. I don’t have to say about women misusing the anti dowry law and men suffering because of that. I don’t see any sense in an uninterested third party aka the judge deciding whether a husband and a wife should live together or not. I feel the difficulty in a man divorcing a woman and vice versa is the root cause for kerosene stoves exploding. I don’t want that law. At any point of time, the law made by the ALMIGHTY is in no ways comparable to the man made ones.

    \\Not really, prostitution is selling a body for pleasure or money, there is a difference. \\

    Oh is it? Then what do you call these metro-pub-late night culture? What is AIDS the product of? us money the only thing that makes the difference?

    Islam places a lot of importance on the well being of the society. It starts from the individual, then the family and it extends to the society. I might say I don’t have a problem when my neighbor commits fornication. Of course I don’t. I will feel the pain when someone in my house does that. To avoid that, the solution comes from the Divine Law.

    About Islam permitting men to marry upto four wives. vaangannae.. ivlo kutrachatta vecha pona comments le vecha ninga, innum idha pathi sollaliyaennu ninaichen.

    1. Quran is the only religious book which says ‘marry only one’. Can you show me a proof from any other religious scriptures which says the same?

    Qur’an 4:3
    “Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.”

    You must note that men SHOULD give mahr or dower to the women in marriage. God is very strict about being just to all the four. So, if a man feels he needs four wives and believes if he can be just to them, he can go ahead marrying them lawfully than to seek unlawful means.

    In Islam, our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) had many wives. Out of all, only Ayesha (RA) was a virgin. The others were either divorced or widowed. In those days, the number of men was much lesser than the number of women due to war, etc.

    Marrying up to four wives is just a permission and is NOT something encouraged in Islam.

    Except for my great great grandfathers whom i heard of having two wives, I have so far NEVER come across anyone within our community who has/had four wives!!

    \\I don’t know whey they give so much importance for Sex?\\

    Again, if you can get a copy of the latest issue of Kumudham, it will be great. The biggest problem facing Chennai police is not rowdyism or terrorism, but sex related crimes. Sex has to be within the bounds of marriage, and if it goes beyond that, this is the result. It is not the importance that our religion gives for sex, it is the law which strictly prohibits people from illegal sex which would be harmful to the society as a whole.

    If everyone keeps saying ‘I don’t have a problem when my neighbour commits fornication’, one day they may be a victim of HIV infected blood transfused into his/her body for no sin committed on their own.

    \\It has nothing to do with female or male.\\

    No way. Of course the failure of law of land is there, but facing such things being a woman is very difficult. Women can be easily manipulated. She is from a village, who does not have much of educational qualification and has seen 14 family members of hers burnt in fire with the authority of the Mo(di)nster in disguise.

    \\I agree with all that, what happens if I am a Kafir (because that’s who I am)? That’s what scares me???\\

    Being a Kafir or not is not what is decided by birth unlike other religions. We believe that every born baby is a Muslim and the course he or she takes on later is only what decides where he or she goes.

    I do agree that some use the word ‘kafir’ as way to abuse non Muslims. We don’t have any right to abuse anyone that way, since if the Almighty decides, he or she might revert to Islam any time. 🙂

  16. SLOGGER Says:

    1. \\I don’t understand the difference, could you elaborate? \\

    Then like Quran we should have one version of Hediath right?

    2.\\The union of a Man and a Woman should be mutual.\\
    You can’t make a general statement like “When women goes the family suffers”. People forget how important a father figure is? You following Islam and I Hinduism are because of our fathers. If I grew up without a father I will be an atheist or will be in a confused religious cult? You see News about “Women” in Vikatan because they sell product. If a Guy dies on the street it’s an event, if a women dies then it’s a story.
    The point I am trying to make here, don’t discriminate against Men or Women. The law should be fair and equal for both the gender. I don’t care if the law of the land says no divorce, will I object? sure, but as long as both the gender gets the same deal at least it’s fair.
    A judge should just mitigate a divorce application not give his moral evaluation on the whole matter. The Kerosene stoves explodes because Men get what they want, and by the look of it (from our argument), Women do want a life like that. Stand up and fight, I want women to be a self sustained human being. If a guy wants a divorce through that paper on his face and make sure you get the compensation you deserve. The same is applicable for Men too. That’s what a Judge’s job should be, to make sure both get the fair deal. Contrary to your statement, I would like an uninterested third party judge. He can then make better judgment without any personal liking.

    \\Not really, prostitution is selling a body for pleasure or money, there is a difference. \\

    I can’t believe you are making this statement. You are highly educated so I would think that you understand that AIDS is not a disease of rich and affluent, its disease of the poor. Who do think hang out in the night club? The poor? Not really it’s the rich. How many rich people do you know suffers from AIDS? But I guess your main argument here is AIDS is a social disease so let’s kill the social contacts. Well, let’s take it further. Ban liquor (I don’t think you will object to that), ban cigarettes, and ban all these cancer causing elements, what the heck lets ban religion, which in my view causes all the problem in the world the list could go on. Will you agree? Your argument here is I see bad thing through my eyes, so let’s not see!!!! No. The issue here to educate the people about these bad things and educate people on how to avoid it. All religion places importance on society, but are they relevant? Issues related to society were made 1000 years ago and solution a religion brings may be based on where it originated. You can ask me to do something because Islam says so. Because I am a Hindu, it might not be what my religion said what’s right. So we start a fight about whether a religion from West or from East is great. And more importantly, society has changed. So define society? Again you will start to generalize and I will start to disagree, we will never be in agreement. So how do we tackle it? Take religion out when it comes to an issue related to a society, because then you can adapt, and then you will figure a way which is best suited to tackle a particular issue.
    About multiple wives, the example I gave you was my uncle who is a Hindu. I think you are taking it personal as an assault. I am not; my argument here is purely for women’s right. Again you are generalizing the word “Justly”. Justly – towards who? You are inclined towards Men dominated society just because what your Religion says. But you being a Woman, I would think you would understand the issue? Its not about the Men, it’s about the Women. If you argue that for Women it doesn’t matter if she is marring a guy who already has a wife, then I don’t think you are right?
    As I said many times before, in Islam society and religion is not different. It’s the brotherhood, a society based on religion. So every issue we face has to be addressed by the religion which I don’t agree with and that’s the very reason we have the fight in our hand in today’s world.

    ”Marrying up to four wives is just permission and is NOT something encouraged in Islam” I don’t know how you come up with that, and how they differ?

    \\I don’t know whey they give so much importance for Sex?\\
    There is a difference between fornication and sex trade. I think again you are trying to generalize something and bring in religion as a solution. Sex between unmarried people is different from prostitution. Sex crime happens because law of the land failed, I will be right with you on street to fight against it. Because of Kumudham and Vikatan you are trying to build on something in relation HIV and sex between 2 unmarried people. HIV is an outcome of prostitution not because 2 people plan to live without marriage. Again it’s a social issue, not something related to any religion. So your question could be is this free sex liberating women? No, the real issue is the right for a woman to live with someone of her choice. Am I against marriage? No. But it’s not my right to step into her shoes and make a choice. But when she crosses that limit and runs a sex ring then yes, then it becomes my issue because now she is corrupting the law of the land.
    I don’t want to bring in Modi argument in here, and then we will be in deep trouble. But as I said before its front page news when it’s a girl, not so if it’s a boy so I don’t blame you for not knowing how law is handed out in India.
    Regarding Kafir, why should I revert to Islam (or the course I take later) when there is a Judgment? Then again I would have Gandhi with me so I guess it’s not that bad…:)

  17. The Victorious.. Says:

    1. \\Then like Quran we should have one version of Hediath right?\\

    The Quran is purely the word of God.

    Hadith is the collection of our Prophet’s traditions. It has authentic information on how he prayed, how simple was the life he lived despite being a great Emperor of the Arabian Peninsula, how he fasted, to sum it all, the way he lived. He was the man who preached only what he practiced.

    2.\\You following Islam and I Hinduism are because of our fathers.\\

    It has a very limited amount of truth in it. Since I’m born to Muslim parents, it just got easier for me to learn the truth. There are several Muslims only by name like Dawood Ibrahim, Saddam Hussein, etc. And there are several non Muslims who reverted to Islam once they learn fully about it. Be it Yvonne Ridley or Malcom X or the four sisters from Tanjavur district.

    We firmly believe that every born child is a Muslim

    3.\\I can’t believe you are making this statement. You are highly educated so I would think that you understand that AIDS is not a disease of rich and affluent, its disease of the poor.\\

    Are you sure it is not the disease of the rich and the affluent? May I please refer you to have a look at this presentation by CII:,10, Why focus on the IT sector?

    \\The point I am trying to make here, don’t discriminate against Men or Women\\

    Shall we remove the Maternity Benefits Act 1961?

    A man and a woman should be equally punishable for a criminal wrongdoing. Like chopping off hands for stealing. But, it cannot be the same for the other law like inheritance, etc.

    \\You are inclined towards Men dominated society just because what your Religion says\\

    It is not a question of who is dominating who. In Islam, a woman who is free to earn need not spend a penny on her family. And she gets a good amount of dower during marriage. Plus the inheritance from her relatives. Will a man look at it and call it a female dominated religion?

    As I have told you before, the duties and responsibilities of a man and woman in Islam are different. There is a very famous hadith that when a man comes and asks our Prophet (pbuh) whom I should place next to the Almighty, our Prophet replies “your mother”, he asks again “after that?”, Prophet says “your mother”, after that also he says “your mother”.

    Islam encourages mankind (now don’t say this doesn’t include women ;)) to read, read and ponder to appreciate God’s verse. It never differentiates between a man and a woman. Islam never forbade a woman from working provided she is able to fulfil her duties. The right to decide whom she wants to marry, the right to remarry after divorce or losing husband- tell me which religion gives them?

    Just another Hadith to quote:

    “Freedom in determining one’s future

    A young girl came before the holy Prophet perplexed and anxious and exclaimed:

    “O Messenger of Allah. . . From the hand of this father…”

    “But what has your father done to you”, the Prophet asked.

    “He has a nephew”, she replied, “and he has given me in marriage to him before consulting me in the matter”.

    “Now that he has done it,” said the Prophet, “you should not oppose it. Agree to it, and be your cousin’s wife.”

    “O Messenger of Allah! I do not like my cousin. How can I be the wife of a man whom I do not like.”

    “If you do not like him, that is an end to the matter. You have full authority. Go and make the choice of man whom you would like to marry.”

    \\”Marrying up to four wives is just permission and is NOT something encouraged in Islam” I don’t know how you come up with that, and how they differ?\\

    Again, it is just a permission. Could you please refer to the verse again?

    \\think again you are trying to generalize something and bring in religion as a solution\\

    Of course I generalise because that is the starting point. 🙂

    \\Regarding Kafir, why should I revert to Islam (or the course I take later) when there is a Judgment? Then again I would have Gandhi with me so I guess it’s not that bad…:)\\

    I dont understand.


    Brother, what I understand from your comments is that your knowledge in Islam is restricted to the negative picture painted by some people. I am not going to suggest you any rebuttals to those criticsms, but if you really want to know about Islam, there are two authentic sources, the Quran and the Hadith, both of which can be read from USC MSA website.

    By looking at the verse which says “marry up to four” you may think that it oppresses the right of a woman. Only when you read through the whole of the Quran and read about our Prophet’s life from authentic sources you will know the truth.

  18. The Victorious.. Says:

    \\As I said many times before, in Islam society and religion is not different. It’s the brotherhood, a society based on religion. So every issue we face has to be addressed by the religion which I don’t agree with and that’s the very reason we have the fight in our hand in today’s world.\\

    You don’t have a problem when a neighbour of yours has an illegitimate relationship with someone; now why are you bothered when somone marries four ladies (I have never come across such a thing atleast in TN, let me know if you know anyone). What is troubling you when we have our laws of divorce, inheritance, etc. 🙂

    \\About multiple wives, the example I gave you was my uncle who is a Hindu. I think you are taking it personal as an assault.\\

    yebbaa.. annae romba think panringa ninga. idha ellam ketu ketu pulichu pochu 🙂

  19. The Victorious.. Says:

    \\ Ban liquor (I don’t think you will object to that),\\

    Excuse me? What made you assume things like that?

    “O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan’s handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper. “

    “Satan’s plan is (but) to excite enmity and hatred between you, with intoxicants and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah, and from prayer: will ye not then abstain?”

    ” They ask thee concerning wine and gambling. Say: “In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit.” “

    Brother, it is very clear from your comments that your understanding of Islam is totally restricted to baseless criticisms. when you read a line from a book out of context, will you ever be able to understand its meaning?

    Anyways, if possible remove all the prejudices and approach to learn about the religion without them.

  20. SLOGGER Says:

    Thats a long reply, its going to take sometime for me to reply. I will soon 🙂

  21. muslim Says:

    Assalamu ‘alaikum sister,

    I am also a tamil muslim but not from india. It is heartening to see someone with jasba about islam. I have been to TN b4 and i saw that indian muslim have embraced many things from outside influences which I think is incorrect. There are so many innovations in marriage.

    You are masha allah blessed to be in TN. There are hijab bans and stuff in other countries.


  22. Victorious Says:

    Wa alaikum assalam wrb brother,

    What is jasba?

    Alhamdhulillah, we are truly blessed to be in TN where we dont have to be afraid to practise our faith.

    There are staunch Hindus and Christians here, with whom we live peacefully. That is something that I like about our country and the attitude of our fellow Indian fraternity. 🙂 Alhamdhulillah.

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